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Lately I have been struck with how much I have begun to look at motherhood as a job. Have you ever felt that way? Only it isn't an 8 hour job, it is an 18 hour job (if everyone sleeps through the night). And you don't clock out until the last door to the last bedroom is shut at the end of the day. Phew, what a sigh of relief that can be!
I have found lately that I spend so much time doing things FOR my kids that sometimes I forget to do things WITH my kids. It is hard to not think that way when you give give give day in and day out. I decided the other day that I was going to start saying "yes" to my kids more. So often I find myself saying "just a minute" or "hold on" or even "no", when I really could have stopped what I was doing and said "yes".
I have found lately that I spend so much time doing things FOR my kids that sometimes I forget to do things WITH my kids. It is hard to not think that way when you give give give day in and day out. I decided the other day that I was going to start saying "yes" to my kids more. So often I find myself saying "just a minute" or "hold on" or even "no", when I really could have stopped what I was doing and said "yes".
Yesterday my four year old stopped me in my tracks with one sentence. She said "mommy you don't ever play with us". That broke my heart. I had to stop and think, "when did I stop playing with them and why?" So today instead of just getting puzzles out for for my 2 year old to play with, I sat and watched her as she pieced them together. She is amazing. She puts 24 piece puzzles together all by herself! Ones that even I have to stop and think about at times!
Later in my day when my oldest daughter was busy with something and my two youngest started to fight. Instead of getting frustrated with them, I decided to play "duck duck goose". I only had to play for a few minutes to make their day. And it was actually a lot of fun.
Come to think of it, I even started my day off differently today than I normally do. I sat at the table with the girls while they ate breakfast. I am the kind of person who likes quiet in the morning. I make my coffee and retreat to a quiet place in the house while my girls eat cereal and giggle and laugh and make a racket in the kitchen. Today I just sat and listened to them. I drank my coffee and realized that someday the sound of them around the table in the morning will be a distant memory and I will regret that I didn't sit down and enjoy it more often.
Later in my day when my oldest daughter was busy with something and my two youngest started to fight. Instead of getting frustrated with them, I decided to play "duck duck goose". I only had to play for a few minutes to make their day. And it was actually a lot of fun.
Come to think of it, I even started my day off differently today than I normally do. I sat at the table with the girls while they ate breakfast. I am the kind of person who likes quiet in the morning. I make my coffee and retreat to a quiet place in the house while my girls eat cereal and giggle and laugh and make a racket in the kitchen. Today I just sat and listened to them. I drank my coffee and realized that someday the sound of them around the table in the morning will be a distant memory and I will regret that I didn't sit down and enjoy it more often.
So today was a day with a whole lot of little adjustments in it. It only took away from what I was trying to get done for a few minutes of the day. Overall it wasn't a huge sacrifice, but in the end, it made a HUGE difference. I was in a better mood and the kids had a great day. They even loved on me more than usual. My seven year old came up to me out of nowhere and threw her arms around my neck and just said "I love you mom". And then she just stood at my side with her arms around me. She isn't very affectionate normally, so this melted my heart. As I gave little things to them through out the day, they automatically gave right back.
Sometimes in the day to day routine of being a stay at home, home schooling mom, it can get overwhelming to try and invest in my children. There are days when I know I am just waiting for my husband to walk in the door so he can take over some of the chaos. But then there are days like today. Days when I stop and just listen to the sound of my children laughing. Days when a hug around the neck changes my heart in a significant way.
I have decided that the effort it takes to make those kinds of days happen more often will be well worth it. I know that tomorrow I might wake up and want my coffee in peace and quiet. And that is ok, I might just drink it alone tomorrow. But I want to make sure that I stop and think about it before I make that decision. I want to stop each morning and ask myself "when was the last time..." When was the last time I kicked the ball to my daughter rather than just suggesting she play with it? When was the last time I played in the fort after I got done building it? When was the last time I colored in a coloring book or painted a picture with my children? I want to start saying "yes" more often.
I hope you find yourself thinking twice before saying "hold on" to your own children. I hope we can all stop and take a minute to realize that those things that keep us so busy all day, will someday be nothing. But our children, whom we often put off, will mean the world to us. I want to start living my days as though it is my last. I want to close out my day with no regrets. I want to become the mother I know God wants me to be. I hope you do to! God bless you as you bless your families!
I have decided that the effort it takes to make those kinds of days happen more often will be well worth it. I know that tomorrow I might wake up and want my coffee in peace and quiet. And that is ok, I might just drink it alone tomorrow. But I want to make sure that I stop and think about it before I make that decision. I want to stop each morning and ask myself "when was the last time..." When was the last time I kicked the ball to my daughter rather than just suggesting she play with it? When was the last time I played in the fort after I got done building it? When was the last time I colored in a coloring book or painted a picture with my children? I want to start saying "yes" more often.
I hope you find yourself thinking twice before saying "hold on" to your own children. I hope we can all stop and take a minute to realize that those things that keep us so busy all day, will someday be nothing. But our children, whom we often put off, will mean the world to us. I want to start living my days as though it is my last. I want to close out my day with no regrets. I want to become the mother I know God wants me to be. I hope you do to! God bless you as you bless your families!
1 comment:
That was awesome Christy and something God has been working on me lately as well. I have to invest more in my children and stop thinking of them as a factory line. "Ok, I went down the line and everyone is fed, I can sit and read a book now". I have started to realize that I take a very selfish approach in dealing with my children instead of investing in them and into the women that they will become oneday. So thank you for your note, it was encouraging!
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