Friday, August 21

Overwhelmed by Love

What a busy crazy summer it has been. I haven't had much time to think about updating my blog! But yesterday I had a conversation with my girls that sparked a thought. Today I want to share that thought.

While I was making lunch for my girls yesterday, they got on the conversation of heaven. I can't even remember how it started. Sierra asked me if we will be able to actually see God. She seemed in awe of the idea of actually seeing what God looked like. I tried to think of how to describe the feeling they will have when they actually get to see Jesus face to face.

I told them it will be the most marvelous feeling. That we will feel so completely loved. I described it as that feeling they get when their father or I hold them. When we have one of those special moments just between the two of us and we tell them how much we love them. There is a wonderful feeling that rises up in your heart when you have a moment like that. A secure feeling of complete and total love. It can be overwhelming at times. I told them that that is what talking to Jesus will be like all the time. We will simply be overwhelmed by the absolute love of God for us. What a glorious thought!

When I think of heaven I don't think of streets of gold or mansions that are made for each of us. I don't even think of all the people we will see or meet or the incredible things there will be to do and see. I think about just how incredible it will be to actually know God for who he is, and be surrounded by his presence w/o having to struggle past all the things that hinder us. To be overwhelmed by his love constantly.

In the here and now it can be so hard to feel God, to know him, to give him our heart. There are so many things that hold us back. This side of heaven we build walls around our hearts. We have guilt and shame to hold us down. We made bad decisions or are hurt by others. There are so many things that can cause us to keep God at arms length.

Being a Christian isn't about the rules or the church or a religion. So many people who call themselves Christians live as though that is what God desires. Just follow the rules, go to church and try to live right. But that is not what God longs for. He simply wants us to come. To surrender. To stand before him just as we are, with all our baggage and pain and heart ache. To bring him those burdens we carry and lay them at his feet so that he can carry them for us. He simply wants us to trust him and surrender our hearts to him. It is when we allow the walls to come down before God, when we give him all the junk we hold onto and all the dreams we long for, that he begins to change us from the inside out.

Sometimes the surrendering can be a whole lot harder than following a list of rules and "living right". When we are living a legalistic life it almost makes us feel better about how good we are being or that we might be able to earn God's love. But in the end it will leave us empty and frustrated.

So why then do we find it so hard to give God our hearts? The deep places that no one else even knows about? Because it is a scary thing to open your heart and be vulnerable. This world of hurt has taught us to build up walls, not tear them down. People have hurt us and rejected us and taught us not to trust. How then do we begin to trust a God we can't see? It takes a step of faith.

For nearly 20 years I have been giving God my heart. Letting him heal my wounds, lead my life, and fill me with His love. And I still find it hard to surrender. A walk with God is a progression of surrender. Over time he has asked me to let go of things one at a time. I can still remember the moment I let go of the bitterness in my heart toward someone who has abused me. Oh how hard that moment was until it was done. Then- oh the freedom! But it wasn't until 3 years later that I was ready to actually forgive that person. God knew that I couldn't deal with the bitterness and unforgiveness at the same time. For that area of my heart he simply asked me to give them as I could. And in return I found freedom and love and peace like I had never known before.

I don't know what struggles you are facing today. If you are human, alive and breathing... then I suspect you have a struggle in your life. Life is full of all kinds of heart ache. Some of our own making, most from others or the struggles of living. I may not know what you are facing today. But I do know that God is there waiting to love you and fill your heart with peace. He isn't asking for you to give anything other than who you are. Just to stand before him and let it all go. Every battle, every struggle, ever sin, ever dream... whatever it might be. He wants to carry the load for you. He wants to be the one you turn to when you need to give your pain to someone. He wants to be the one you trust and lay your heart before. So, take a chance, and open your heart to Jesus today. I know I need to give him more of myself today too.

May we all find ourselves overwhelmed by His love in a moment alone with him. Just as my children understand unconditional love in a quiet moment alone with me. May we find ourselves wrapped in the loving arms of Jesus today.

As always, feel free to leave a comment, prayer request or message. God bless you!