Tuesday, September 16

Are We Desperate Enough for Him?

Well here is my second blog entry on my bible study "Being made whole". Usually when I write a blog post I am all excited and have some passion about what I am writing. Today I am more walking in faith. Which is really quite ironic... well you will see as you read why stepping out in faith is fitting for this blog entry!

I recently told a friend who just started reading my blog about what this entry was going to be about. I told her it was the one story of the 9 I am studying that I dreaded the most. It is the story of the Gentile woman who begs Jesus to heal her daughter and Jesus calls her a dog! Yikes... where do you go with that one? But really it is quite a fitting story for each and every one of us. So I hope you can relate to the story where Jesus calls a woman a dog! (Mt 15:21-31)

The story starts on the coasts of Tyre and Sidon just north of Israel. The woman who seeks Jesus out was a Canaanite woman, a gentile and a pagan. Her daughter is possessed and she is desperate for her to be healed. She has heard of Jesus and his healings. She hears that he has traveled to the boarders of her country and so she immediately sets off to find the only person who can help her, the messiah

The woman has traveled to find Jesus and as she sees him in the distance she begins to cry in a loud voice "Have mercy on me, O Lord, Son of David! My daughter is possessed by a demon!" She recognized that she needed God's mercy in her life, she was desperate for it. She also knew Jesus was the messiah. Son of David is a title used for the messiah. But she made the claim for him to be her Lord as well. Her master. Here she is crying out with all her heart, in desperation for God's mercy, and what does Jesus do? Ignore her.

Have you ever felt like that? Like you have poured out your heart to God and yet he seems so far away? I sure have. And not just once or twice, but over and over again. Again and again in my life I have related to the prophet Jeremiah when he says "Even when I cry and shout for help, He shuts out my prayer." or "You have covered Yourself with a cloud so that no prayer can pass through" (Lam 3:8,44). It is a terrifying feeling to cry out to God in desperation and not feel his presence or hear an answer.

And how do the disciples respond to her cries for help? Do they tell Jesus "Help this poor distraught mother, she is begging you to help her" ? NO! They tell Jesus to get rid of her. She is driving them crazy with all her shouting. Sometimes the body of Christ can be like this. It can really hurt when people don't understand why we are crying out to God so desperately.

I can remember two times in my life when people came to me and asked me why I was crying out to God like I was. The first time was when I was in high school. I had a pretty rough home life and it seemed every altar call was for me. I was so hungry for Jesus and in such desperate need of his mercy in my life. I remember a friend telling me that he and his mother were wondering why in the world I kept going up to all the altar calls. It was like a slap in my face. You can imagine I held back going to the altar for the rest of the time I attended that church. Another time I was in a season of deep healing with God. He was teaching me to forgive those who had abused me over the years. I spent more days than not with tears in my eyes. I had a respected leader in my life ask me why I was always crying. Again it was slap in my face! God was doing so much in my heart I couldn't help but cry all the time! To this day I have a hard time going up to for an altar call or asking for prayer because of these incidents. I pray I never discourage someone desperate for Jesus to cry out to Him!

So I ask, could this story get worse? Here she is crying out to Jesus, He is ignoring her and the disciples are trying to get rid of her. What more could go wrong to discourage her? The woman sees that she isn't getting any results from crying out, so she decides to draw near to him. Jesus' silence has provoked her to seek him. To draw closer to Him.

The gentile woman finally reaches Jesus and she kneels down at his feet, worships him and pleads with Jesus "Lord help me". You would think Jesus would gently put a hand on her head, tell her to rise up, her daughter is healed. Isn't that the Jesus we know? The ever patient and loving God who never turns a hurt soul away? But what does he say to her? "it is not right to take the children's bread and throw it to the dogs" (15:26). OK, I don't know about you, but if I was that lady, I would have turn around and run home with tears streaming down my face! Jesus just called her a dog! That was a derogatory term used to describe a gentile pagans in those days. Perhaps you could think of a few derogatory names people use to describe others that aren't like them. It was not a compliment in the least.

But what does the woman do? She acknowledges that she is a dog. She knows she is nothing in and of herself. She knows that she is not worthy of Jesus. She knows that she is relying solely on his mercy. She believes that even just a "crumb" from God will solve her problems (15:27)

Are we in a place where we know we are nothing? I seem to go through phases in my walk. It seems that there are layers of knowing my own worthless heart is hopeless w/o His mercy. I suppose if I saw all the areas of my heart at once I would be undone. The question isn't whether our heart is unworthy, the question is what we do when we realize we are unworthy. Do we prostrate ourselves before Jesus in worship and tell him that all we ask for is his mercy as this woman did? Or do we turn and run and feel sorry for ourselves?

Jesus was not trying to be mean to this woman. He was just doing what God does best, drawing her to an intimate place of worship with Him. Sometimes God has to seem silent or uncaring to us so that we will press in to seek him more. Sometimes he makes it seem like our prayers are hitting the ceiling and bouncing back to us, so that we will run to him and cry out all the more.

Finally Jesus turns to the woman and tells her that incredible faith in him and he makes her daughter whole. He wasn't ignoring her, he wasn't putting her down, he was reaching into her heart to find her faith. And he was not disappointed.

Earlier I said that I could relate to Jeremiah in Lam 3. I could understand his despair. But in the middle of that chapter there is an amazing picture of hope and grace. Lam 3:18-26 says:

My strength and my hope is perished from the LORD:
Remembering mine affliction and my misery, the wormwood and the gall.
My soul hath them still in remembrance, and is humbled in me.
This I recall to my mind, therefore have I hope.
It is of the LORD'S mercies that we are not consumed, because his compassions fail not.
They are new every morning: great is thy faithfulness.
The LORD is my portion, saith my soul; therefore will I hope in him.
The LORD is good unto them that wait for him, to the soul that seeketh him.
It is good that a man should both hope and quietly wait for the salvation of the LORD.


I know I refer to that scripture a lot, but God has written it so deep with in my heart that I can't ever seem to get away from it. When everything seems dark and despair crushes in. When God seems so far away I wonder if I will ever feel or hear from Him again. When the night feels like it will never give way to the morning. Or when my tears feel like they will never return to joy. Well, that is when I remind myself, His mercies are new every morning. Great is his faithfulness.

If you feel like the gentile woman today. If you feel like God isn't listening, or that everyone is looking at you wondering why in the world you are crying out to God. If you have found that your heart is more wretched than you dreamed it could be and you feel like you should give up. Take hope. He is silent so you will seek him. He allows the trial to draw you in to a deeper place in him. He has a revelation for you in this time. He desires to make you whole.

May you be blessed with a touch of mercy today.

Monday, September 1

True Rest

I am finally getting a chance to write my first post on being "made whole". I want to start this post by being honest. The last few weeks have been really hard for me. I feel like I have been through the ringer emotionally and spiritually. I know that it is God's mercy digging into my heart and changing me to be more like him. There have been moments that I wished it could be done with a little more ease!

What I want to share with you is out of Mt 12, Mk 6 and Lu 6. It is the story of the man with the withered hand. The story starts well before Jesus arrives at the synagogue and meets the man. It starts on the road as Jesus and the disciples walk to town.

Imagine Jesus and his closest friends walking to service that morning. It is the sabbath and they haven't had anything to eat. Instead of providing his followers with a miraculous meal of loaves and fishes, he and his disciples just pick some corn from a field. The Pharisees must have been walking down the same road to the synagogue that morning, because they see Jesus and his disciples breaking their rules on what can be done on the sabbath. I say "their rules" because it wasn't scripture that forbade the harvesting of a meal on the sabbath, but the laws that had been added to scripture.

The Pharisees stop and rebuke Jesus for what He has done. You almost have to wonder what Jesus was thinking at this point. He defends his actions by quoting scriptures that refer to King David and the Priesthood breaking the laws as well. Then He says He is the Son of Man and the Lord of the Sabbath. Basically He tells the Pharisees that He is the messiah and has more of a right to break their laws than David or the Priests did. After all He is the Lord of the Sabbath. You have to realize this didn't go over well with the Pharisees

This is where we get to the story of the man with the withered hand. Imagine the Pharisees return to the synagogue fuming mad. How dare Jesus rebuke them like that and make those claims! So they decide to set him up. If he is who he says he is, then let him prove it. They decide to trap him and accuse him of breaking the sabbath in front of everyone by putting the one thing before Jesus they know he won't pass by. A crippled man.

I have no idea how they persuaded the man to go along with their plan. Maybe they just ordered him to go inside. Cripples weren't allowed in places of worship. Maybe they bribed him or threatened him. In the end it doesn't really matter. Here was this man with a withered hand standing in the midst of the crowd when Jesus and his disciples arrive. Lu 6:6 says it was the man's right hand that was crippled. In Jewish teachings the right hand was the hand of strength and blessing. Scripture often refers to God's right hand. It was a symbol of strength. So here is this man whose very ability to work and function as a normal person was withered up. His strength was withered and gone.

I wonder how this man felt? He must have known he was being used to set Jesus up. Was he afraid Jesus would just walk by and ignore him? Maybe he was even more afraid Jesus would stop and notice him.

Have you ever felt like an area of you life was just withered and dried up? Like your strength was just gone? Have you ever been so ashamed of your lack of strength that you just wanted to hide your weakness from everyone, even Jesus? Can you relate to this man? I know I can! I have been relating to him every day for the last few weeks!

So how did Jesus respond to this situation? He knows the Pharisees want to entrap Him and He sees their hard hearts. Mk 3:5 even says He was angry with them. Jesus chose to completely ignore the Pharisees. He was more concerned about the man with the withered hand.

Jesus asked the man to do something amazing here. In Lu 6:8 it says that he turned to the man and told him to rise up, step forward, and stand in the midst of the crowd. I am sure this is the last thing the man wanted to do! But he listened to Jesus and stepped out.

Then Jesus does something even more amazing. He speaks to the Pharisees. In Mt 12:11 it says Jesus asks the Pharisees if it would be lawful to find a lost sheep on the sabbath. The answer is, or course, yes. I imagine this crippled man is feeling very much like a lost sheep. He is exposed and on display for all the world to see. He must have felt not only like a lost sheep, but like a lost sheep surrounded by wolves waiting to devour him! But Jesus doesn't ask him to stand there alone, he is at his side, standing with him. Jesus is being the shepherd to this man and protecting him from the wolves in his greatest moment of weakness.

Jesus continues by asking if it is better to do good on the sabbath, or evil, to give life or destroy it. He exposes the very heart of the Pharisees. Here are the Pharisees in all their self righteousness and pride, devouring this poor innocent man for their own plans of evil and Jesus calls them on it! He doesn't expose the heart of the crippled man, though I am sure he had areas of sin that needed to be dealt with. Rather he exposed the wolves for who they were and protected the sheep when he was weakest.

Praise God Jesus does that for us. When he shows us our weakness he also stands by our side protecting us from the accusers and the wolves in our own lives. Sometimes our own guilt and shame can devour us more than anyone else ever could. But Jesus never leaves our side. He is the good shepherd and will protect us as if we were a lost sheep.

The man now knows that Jesus is standing by him as he is made vulnerable before the crowd. He understands that he is like the lost sheep and Jesus is that great shepherd protecting and saving him. So it is no wonder when Jesus asks him to do one last thing, he doesn't hesitate. And yet this is the hardest thing of all. Jesus asks the man to stretch forth his hand. To display for all to see the depths of his weakness. To be vulnerable and exposed. To bear his very heart before Jesus. But as he trusts Jesus and stretches out his greatest weakness to him, Jesus makes him whole.

The story in Matt concludes with a prophecy about Jesus "...a bruised reed shall he not break, and a smoking flax shall he not quench..." I have always loved this verse. Have you ever found a flower or plant that has been stepped on? Or maybe someone bent the stem of a flower just enough that you can see the bruises on it. It isn't quite broken, but it isn't strong any longer either. Or have you ever seen a candle with a wick just about to burn out? Maybe there is barley a glow left on the wick and it is just smoking, no longer producing light. That is what this verse is talking about. When we are at our end. When our strength is gone. When we feel stepped on and like our light is just about burnt out. Jesus never breaks the bruised reed and he would never put out the smoking flax. He desires to heal and restore and to strengthen.

Earlier in the story Jesus told the Pharisees he was Lord of the Sabbath. If you read back just a few verses further you find in Mt 11:28-30 Jesus says "Come to me, all ye that labour and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you, and learn of me; for I am meek and lowly in heart: and ye shall find rest unto your souls. For my yoke is easy and my burden is light". Jesus' heart is to give rest to the weary and strength to the weak.

As I thought about this I remembered Hebrews 4. It is the chapter about the ultimate Sabbath we find in Jesus, the rest for the people of God. Heb 4:9 says "there remains a rest to the people of God".

Verse 11 continues that we must labor to enter into that rest. Labor to rest? That doesn't sound right? But as I thought about this and related it to the story I began to see a beautiful truth. One God has been trying to pound into my thick head for years. If you labor in good works and are always trying to be better and make you self into a perfect person, you will burn yourself out. There is no rest in a life of striving. That is living under the law and will burden you and bind you up. But I began to think about faith and trust in Jesus. Those words sound so easy. But are they? I find the deeper I look into my heart the harder it can be to trust and have faith. I find that being vulnerable before him, trusting him and having faith require quite a bit of effort on my part. You could say I labor in faith and trust in him. But when I do.... oh the sweet rest that comes over my soul. The peace that fills me. The storm could be raging all around me and it doesn't matter. If I am looking to Jesus and trusting him, there is rest and peace. But you have to labor to keep that trust and faith in him. Life will do its best to shake it!

Hebrews continues in vs 12&13 to talk about how the word is sharper than any two edged sword and discerns the very thoughts and intents of our hearts. That all things are naked and opened to God. This is shown so clearly in this story. Jesus spoke and the very hearts of the Pharisees were exposed. He also exposed the very weakness of the crippled man. With one word God will expose our own hearts. He will show us things we wish weren't there. But as in the story, Jesus never exposes weakness just to expose it. His desire is to heal it. To make us whole.

In the end all our faith, our labor to trust him, our weakness being exposed, are for one purpose. That we might "come boldly unto the throne of grace, that we may obtain mercy, and find grace to help in time of need" (Heb 4:16)

These last few weeks have been a time of great weakness in my life. There have been days when the battle in my heart was so strong that I didn't know how I was going to find the strength to finish the day. But I spent every ounce of strength I did have, in a labor of faith and trust in Jesus. No matter how weak I got in my battle, I found a rock solid peace in my heart of hearts. And through that peace came a rest and even more faith.

Like the crippled man, when we have lost all strength, we must trust God. When his word exposes our weaknesses, we must have faith to step out and make ourselves vulnerable before him. To allow his word to make us "naked and open" before him. It can be a scary feeling. It can hurt tremendously. It becomes a labor of faith and trust. But there is a promise that we will find rest and even more amazing, that we can come before him boldly! Even in our weakness we can come to him and boldly ask for grace and mercy in our time of need!

And so, by faith, I step out like the cripple man and stretch my greatest weaknesses toward God. I choose to trust him in this storm and know that he will stand by my side protecting me and in the end, healing me. It will all be worth it to be made whole.

Please don't hesitate to let me know if you need prayer!