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What a busy crazy summer it has been. I haven't had much time to think about updating my blog! But yesterday I had a conversation with my girls that sparked a thought. Today I want to share that thought.
While I was making lunch for my girls yesterday, they got on the conversation of heaven. I can't even remember how it started. Sierra asked me if we will be able to actually see God. She seemed in awe of the idea of actually seeing what God looked like. I tried to think of how to describe the feeling they will have when they actually get to see Jesus face to face.
I told them it will be the most marvelous feeling. That we will feel so completely loved. I described it as that feeling they get when their father or I hold them. When we have one of those special moments just between the two of us and we tell them how much we love them. There is a wonderful feeling that rises up in your heart when you have a moment like that. A secure feeling of complete and total love. It can be overwhelming at times. I told them that that is what talking to Jesus will be like all the time. We will simply be overwhelmed by the absolute love of God for us. What a glorious thought!
When I think of heaven I don't think of streets of gold or mansions that are made for each of us. I don't even think of all the people we will see or meet or the incredible things there will be to do and see. I think about just how incredible it will be to actually know God for who he is, and be surrounded by his presence w/o having to struggle past all the things that hinder us. To be overwhelmed by his love constantly.
In the here and now it can be so hard to feel God, to know him, to give him our heart. There are so many things that hold us back. This side of heaven we build walls around our hearts. We have guilt and shame to hold us down. We made bad decisions or are hurt by others. There are so many things that can cause us to keep God at arms length.
Being a Christian isn't about the rules or the church or a religion. So many people who call themselves Christians live as though that is what God desires. Just follow the rules, go to church and try to live right. But that is not what God longs for. He simply wants us to come. To surrender. To stand before him just as we are, with all our baggage and pain and heart ache. To bring him those burdens we carry and lay them at his feet so that he can carry them for us. He simply wants us to trust him and surrender our hearts to him. It is when we allow the walls to come down before God, when we give him all the junk we hold onto and all the dreams we long for, that he begins to change us from the inside out.
Sometimes the surrendering can be a whole lot harder than following a list of rules and "living right". When we are living a legalistic life it almost makes us feel better about how good we are being or that we might be able to earn God's love. But in the end it will leave us empty and frustrated.
So why then do we find it so hard to give God our hearts? The deep places that no one else even knows about? Because it is a scary thing to open your heart and be vulnerable. This world of hurt has taught us to build up walls, not tear them down. People have hurt us and rejected us and taught us not to trust. How then do we begin to trust a God we can't see? It takes a step of faith.
For nearly 20 years I have been giving God my heart. Letting him heal my wounds, lead my life, and fill me with His love. And I still find it hard to surrender. A walk with God is a progression of surrender. Over time he has asked me to let go of things one at a time. I can still remember the moment I let go of the bitterness in my heart toward someone who has abused me. Oh how hard that moment was until it was done. Then- oh the freedom! But it wasn't until 3 years later that I was ready to actually forgive that person. God knew that I couldn't deal with the bitterness and unforgiveness at the same time. For that area of my heart he simply asked me to give them as I could. And in return I found freedom and love and peace like I had never known before.
I don't know what struggles you are facing today. If you are human, alive and breathing... then I suspect you have a struggle in your life. Life is full of all kinds of heart ache. Some of our own making, most from others or the struggles of living. I may not know what you are facing today. But I do know that God is there waiting to love you and fill your heart with peace. He isn't asking for you to give anything other than who you are. Just to stand before him and let it all go. Every battle, every struggle, ever sin, ever dream... whatever it might be. He wants to carry the load for you. He wants to be the one you turn to when you need to give your pain to someone. He wants to be the one you trust and lay your heart before. So, take a chance, and open your heart to Jesus today. I know I need to give him more of myself today too.
May we all find ourselves overwhelmed by His love in a moment alone with him. Just as my children understand unconditional love in a quiet moment alone with me. May we find ourselves wrapped in the loving arms of Jesus today.
As always, feel free to leave a comment, prayer request or message. God bless you!
Friday, August 21
Wednesday, March 4
The Joys of Motherhood
Lately I have been struck with how much I have begun to look at motherhood as a job. Have you ever felt that way? Only it isn't an 8 hour job, it is an 18 hour job (if everyone sleeps through the night). And you don't clock out until the last door to the last bedroom is shut at the end of the day. Phew, what a sigh of relief that can be!
I have found lately that I spend so much time doing things FOR my kids that sometimes I forget to do things WITH my kids. It is hard to not think that way when you give give give day in and day out. I decided the other day that I was going to start saying "yes" to my kids more. So often I find myself saying "just a minute" or "hold on" or even "no", when I really could have stopped what I was doing and said "yes".
I have found lately that I spend so much time doing things FOR my kids that sometimes I forget to do things WITH my kids. It is hard to not think that way when you give give give day in and day out. I decided the other day that I was going to start saying "yes" to my kids more. So often I find myself saying "just a minute" or "hold on" or even "no", when I really could have stopped what I was doing and said "yes".
Yesterday my four year old stopped me in my tracks with one sentence. She said "mommy you don't ever play with us". That broke my heart. I had to stop and think, "when did I stop playing with them and why?" So today instead of just getting puzzles out for for my 2 year old to play with, I sat and watched her as she pieced them together. She is amazing. She puts 24 piece puzzles together all by herself! Ones that even I have to stop and think about at times!
Later in my day when my oldest daughter was busy with something and my two youngest started to fight. Instead of getting frustrated with them, I decided to play "duck duck goose". I only had to play for a few minutes to make their day. And it was actually a lot of fun.
Come to think of it, I even started my day off differently today than I normally do. I sat at the table with the girls while they ate breakfast. I am the kind of person who likes quiet in the morning. I make my coffee and retreat to a quiet place in the house while my girls eat cereal and giggle and laugh and make a racket in the kitchen. Today I just sat and listened to them. I drank my coffee and realized that someday the sound of them around the table in the morning will be a distant memory and I will regret that I didn't sit down and enjoy it more often.
Later in my day when my oldest daughter was busy with something and my two youngest started to fight. Instead of getting frustrated with them, I decided to play "duck duck goose". I only had to play for a few minutes to make their day. And it was actually a lot of fun.
Come to think of it, I even started my day off differently today than I normally do. I sat at the table with the girls while they ate breakfast. I am the kind of person who likes quiet in the morning. I make my coffee and retreat to a quiet place in the house while my girls eat cereal and giggle and laugh and make a racket in the kitchen. Today I just sat and listened to them. I drank my coffee and realized that someday the sound of them around the table in the morning will be a distant memory and I will regret that I didn't sit down and enjoy it more often.
So today was a day with a whole lot of little adjustments in it. It only took away from what I was trying to get done for a few minutes of the day. Overall it wasn't a huge sacrifice, but in the end, it made a HUGE difference. I was in a better mood and the kids had a great day. They even loved on me more than usual. My seven year old came up to me out of nowhere and threw her arms around my neck and just said "I love you mom". And then she just stood at my side with her arms around me. She isn't very affectionate normally, so this melted my heart. As I gave little things to them through out the day, they automatically gave right back.
Sometimes in the day to day routine of being a stay at home, home schooling mom, it can get overwhelming to try and invest in my children. There are days when I know I am just waiting for my husband to walk in the door so he can take over some of the chaos. But then there are days like today. Days when I stop and just listen to the sound of my children laughing. Days when a hug around the neck changes my heart in a significant way.
I have decided that the effort it takes to make those kinds of days happen more often will be well worth it. I know that tomorrow I might wake up and want my coffee in peace and quiet. And that is ok, I might just drink it alone tomorrow. But I want to make sure that I stop and think about it before I make that decision. I want to stop each morning and ask myself "when was the last time..." When was the last time I kicked the ball to my daughter rather than just suggesting she play with it? When was the last time I played in the fort after I got done building it? When was the last time I colored in a coloring book or painted a picture with my children? I want to start saying "yes" more often.
I hope you find yourself thinking twice before saying "hold on" to your own children. I hope we can all stop and take a minute to realize that those things that keep us so busy all day, will someday be nothing. But our children, whom we often put off, will mean the world to us. I want to start living my days as though it is my last. I want to close out my day with no regrets. I want to become the mother I know God wants me to be. I hope you do to! God bless you as you bless your families!
I have decided that the effort it takes to make those kinds of days happen more often will be well worth it. I know that tomorrow I might wake up and want my coffee in peace and quiet. And that is ok, I might just drink it alone tomorrow. But I want to make sure that I stop and think about it before I make that decision. I want to stop each morning and ask myself "when was the last time..." When was the last time I kicked the ball to my daughter rather than just suggesting she play with it? When was the last time I played in the fort after I got done building it? When was the last time I colored in a coloring book or painted a picture with my children? I want to start saying "yes" more often.
I hope you find yourself thinking twice before saying "hold on" to your own children. I hope we can all stop and take a minute to realize that those things that keep us so busy all day, will someday be nothing. But our children, whom we often put off, will mean the world to us. I want to start living my days as though it is my last. I want to close out my day with no regrets. I want to become the mother I know God wants me to be. I hope you do to! God bless you as you bless your families!
Tuesday, February 10
Who is God anyway?
Today I have been thinking a lot about Job. A man in the bible who was just walking through is blessed life, living for God. He had amazing faith, prayed for his 10 children and managed his wealth in a way that honored God. Then one day he lost it all. His children died, his wealth was gone, his life was in ruins. All he was left with was a nagging wife who told him to give up and die. Oh the despair of Job's life.
So what was the point? Why did God allow Job to face such difficult trials? If God loved Job so much why all the heartache? Ever feel that way? Like life goes from one big mess to another? Like the trials seem to run into each other and you just can't figure out why you are going through it all?
I am sure that God had a lot of reasons for letting Job go through his heart breaking life. I am sure he was doing things we can't even begin to understand. But today there is one reason I can't get away from. I believe God wanted to show Job who He really was.
Job was a man of great faith. After all, that is the reason Satan wanted to attack his life and try to destroy him. In the words of Job's wife, Satan's goal was to get Job to "curse God and die".
Chapter after chapter the book of Job is full of the discussions Job had with his "friends" as they questioned why God would allow these horrible things to happen to Job. What sin could he be hiding to deserve the judgment of God like this? What had Job done to displease God? Over and over his friends came up with their theology and their reasons for why God would do this. Over and over Job answered with his own thoughts and beliefs. The whole book is basically man's best attempt at understand why God does what he does. And that is where the problem lies. Man will never be God, we will never fully understand his perspective.
And so I see the book of Job in a new light today. I am looking at this man's life who was full of despair and loss and trials he couldn't have imagined facing and I see that, if for no other reason, maybe God chose to take him down this path to show him who He was. Maybe, just maybe, the whole point of the trial was so that God could reveal himself to Job.
As Job and his friends debate you can almost see the revelations Job received. Job 9:30-33 says "If I wash myself with snow water, and make my hands ever so clean; Yet I will be plunged in a ditch, and my own clothes will abhor me. For he is not a man, as I am, that I should answer Him, and we should come together in judgment. Neither is there any daysman between us, that might lay his hand upon us both." And Job 16:17 says "My friends scorn me: but mine eyes pour out tears unto God. Oh that one might plead for a man with God, as a man pleads for his neighbor." Job saw that he was unclean. That his sins could not be washed away in his own strength. He knew that there was no way to reach out to God with out help. He longed for someone to stand between him and God and plead his case.
In Job 19:25 Job sees a glimpse of Jesus and that he would indeed stand between man and God. He says "For I know that my redeemer lives, and that he shall stand at that latter day upon the earth." He declares his faith in a God he can barely glimpse by saying in Job 1:21 "Naked came I out of my mother's womb, and naked shall I return. The Lord gave, and the Lord has taken away; blessed be the name of the Lord". As he and his friends debate the question of why, Job begins to see that it is the wrong question. Rather he needs to be asking "who?" Who is God? Who is he really? Do we really know Him? Do we really see Him for who he is? Do we have a revelation of the Redeemer who lives? Do we realize that He is so much greater and so much higher than we can fathom?
God speaks to Job at the end of the book. He shows Job that in all his knowledge of God, he still didn't really know Him. And maybe, just maybe, this trial taught Job the greatest lesson of all. To not ask "why?" but "who?" To not seek the answers to why we are going through what we are going through, but to settle in our hearts that whatever may came our way, we will seek the very heart of God. That we will seek to know Him more. To find his heart in the midst of the storm. To look for the Redeemer who lives in the midst of our heart ache and to cling to Him.
So today, no matter what you face, ask yourself "Who is God anyway?" Do I really know Him like I think I do? And embrace your trials as a chance to know your God more. For God longs to reveal Himself to you. He wants to pour Himself into you and build a firm foundation for you to stand on in any storm you face.
May God bless you as you seek Him in your storm.
So what was the point? Why did God allow Job to face such difficult trials? If God loved Job so much why all the heartache? Ever feel that way? Like life goes from one big mess to another? Like the trials seem to run into each other and you just can't figure out why you are going through it all?
I am sure that God had a lot of reasons for letting Job go through his heart breaking life. I am sure he was doing things we can't even begin to understand. But today there is one reason I can't get away from. I believe God wanted to show Job who He really was.
Job was a man of great faith. After all, that is the reason Satan wanted to attack his life and try to destroy him. In the words of Job's wife, Satan's goal was to get Job to "curse God and die".
Chapter after chapter the book of Job is full of the discussions Job had with his "friends" as they questioned why God would allow these horrible things to happen to Job. What sin could he be hiding to deserve the judgment of God like this? What had Job done to displease God? Over and over his friends came up with their theology and their reasons for why God would do this. Over and over Job answered with his own thoughts and beliefs. The whole book is basically man's best attempt at understand why God does what he does. And that is where the problem lies. Man will never be God, we will never fully understand his perspective.
And so I see the book of Job in a new light today. I am looking at this man's life who was full of despair and loss and trials he couldn't have imagined facing and I see that, if for no other reason, maybe God chose to take him down this path to show him who He was. Maybe, just maybe, the whole point of the trial was so that God could reveal himself to Job.
As Job and his friends debate you can almost see the revelations Job received. Job 9:30-33 says "If I wash myself with snow water, and make my hands ever so clean; Yet I will be plunged in a ditch, and my own clothes will abhor me. For he is not a man, as I am, that I should answer Him, and we should come together in judgment. Neither is there any daysman between us, that might lay his hand upon us both." And Job 16:17 says "My friends scorn me: but mine eyes pour out tears unto God. Oh that one might plead for a man with God, as a man pleads for his neighbor." Job saw that he was unclean. That his sins could not be washed away in his own strength. He knew that there was no way to reach out to God with out help. He longed for someone to stand between him and God and plead his case.
In Job 19:25 Job sees a glimpse of Jesus and that he would indeed stand between man and God. He says "For I know that my redeemer lives, and that he shall stand at that latter day upon the earth." He declares his faith in a God he can barely glimpse by saying in Job 1:21 "Naked came I out of my mother's womb, and naked shall I return. The Lord gave, and the Lord has taken away; blessed be the name of the Lord". As he and his friends debate the question of why, Job begins to see that it is the wrong question. Rather he needs to be asking "who?" Who is God? Who is he really? Do we really know Him? Do we really see Him for who he is? Do we have a revelation of the Redeemer who lives? Do we realize that He is so much greater and so much higher than we can fathom?
God speaks to Job at the end of the book. He shows Job that in all his knowledge of God, he still didn't really know Him. And maybe, just maybe, this trial taught Job the greatest lesson of all. To not ask "why?" but "who?" To not seek the answers to why we are going through what we are going through, but to settle in our hearts that whatever may came our way, we will seek the very heart of God. That we will seek to know Him more. To find his heart in the midst of the storm. To look for the Redeemer who lives in the midst of our heart ache and to cling to Him.
So today, no matter what you face, ask yourself "Who is God anyway?" Do I really know Him like I think I do? And embrace your trials as a chance to know your God more. For God longs to reveal Himself to you. He wants to pour Himself into you and build a firm foundation for you to stand on in any storm you face.
May God bless you as you seek Him in your storm.
Wednesday, December 31
A Prayer From Years Past
This morning I was going through some old papers I have from High School. I found all kinds of poems and songs and things I had written to express my heart. It was amazing to read things I had written as a teenager and to have all the old memories become crystal clear again. I wanted to share something I wrote entitled simply "A Prayer".
Feb 28, 1993
A Prayer
Lord-
It seems just last week I prayed You'd build a protective wall around me. A wall that would keep people far enough away that I'd never get really hurt again. Well, now You've opened my eyes and I realized I've built a wall on my own. And unfortunately, somehow, I find You got shoved just outside the wall. Without realizing it, I've built the wall around myself, all on my own. A wall of fear, uncertainty, worry, insecurity, stress and worst of all, loneliness.
I see myself peeping over the wall wondering how it could have happened so fast. When I realize its been growing steadily for sometime. I've blocked You and everyone else out for so long I didn't even notice the wall is so high I can barely look over it. How could I have let this happen? When I prayed for protection I didn't see what I should have asked for. I didn't need a wall, but Your love.
No matter what happens, a wall will only hurt me, but Your love can heal me. I don't need a stack of bricks as cold as ice around my heart to protect me, I need Your love and forgiveness to heal my pain.
Please, somehow, help me take my wall down and rebuild my self protection with Your love and assurence. Help me rely on You to fill my needs and help me deal with my problems instead of hiding behind my fortress of bitterness and anger.
My walls will only crumple in on me if someone attacks me, but if I turn to You, and rely on Your grace to protect me, a person won't be able to reach the center of who I am, the soul of myself.
I'll have my share of scrapes and bruises, but at least they'll get bandaged up by Your loving hands. Please open my eyes, ears, and heart to You.
What amazes me is that this cry for healing stayed in my heart for years. Then in 1998 God brought all that pain, all the hurt, fear and loneliness to a place of reckoning. I couldn't keep walking in my brokenness and a cry to be made whole consumed my heart. God gave me a promise that summer that he would "make me whole".
Now a decade later I am preparing to teach a bible study to women about being made whole. I know that I still have issues I struggle with, but I can see how God truly has made my heart whole in so many ways. All the bitterness, anger and hurt that used to fill my life seem like a vague memory. When I stop and search my heart of hearts I find a deep and everlasting love that has become a foundation to stand on in any storm. God truly has traded all my sorrows for joy. I have so much to be thankful for.
This New Year's Eve I don't have any thoughts of what this year might hold. I don't know what trials or joys may come my way. But I do know where I have come from. I know that God has delivered me out of some very dark pits and set my feet on the rock of His love. I know that He will never forsake me or leave me. That His heart for me is consumed with an everlasting love with no end. And because of that, I can rejoice in the upcoming year. It is in the hands of a might God who loves me eternally.
No matter what our new year might bring our way, I pray that you find your heart and life filled with unexpected blessings. That you will know God's love in a new and deeper way. God Bless You!!!!
Feb 28, 1993
A Prayer
Lord-
It seems just last week I prayed You'd build a protective wall around me. A wall that would keep people far enough away that I'd never get really hurt again. Well, now You've opened my eyes and I realized I've built a wall on my own. And unfortunately, somehow, I find You got shoved just outside the wall. Without realizing it, I've built the wall around myself, all on my own. A wall of fear, uncertainty, worry, insecurity, stress and worst of all, loneliness.
I see myself peeping over the wall wondering how it could have happened so fast. When I realize its been growing steadily for sometime. I've blocked You and everyone else out for so long I didn't even notice the wall is so high I can barely look over it. How could I have let this happen? When I prayed for protection I didn't see what I should have asked for. I didn't need a wall, but Your love.
No matter what happens, a wall will only hurt me, but Your love can heal me. I don't need a stack of bricks as cold as ice around my heart to protect me, I need Your love and forgiveness to heal my pain.
Please, somehow, help me take my wall down and rebuild my self protection with Your love and assurence. Help me rely on You to fill my needs and help me deal with my problems instead of hiding behind my fortress of bitterness and anger.
My walls will only crumple in on me if someone attacks me, but if I turn to You, and rely on Your grace to protect me, a person won't be able to reach the center of who I am, the soul of myself.
I'll have my share of scrapes and bruises, but at least they'll get bandaged up by Your loving hands. Please open my eyes, ears, and heart to You.
What amazes me is that this cry for healing stayed in my heart for years. Then in 1998 God brought all that pain, all the hurt, fear and loneliness to a place of reckoning. I couldn't keep walking in my brokenness and a cry to be made whole consumed my heart. God gave me a promise that summer that he would "make me whole".
Now a decade later I am preparing to teach a bible study to women about being made whole. I know that I still have issues I struggle with, but I can see how God truly has made my heart whole in so many ways. All the bitterness, anger and hurt that used to fill my life seem like a vague memory. When I stop and search my heart of hearts I find a deep and everlasting love that has become a foundation to stand on in any storm. God truly has traded all my sorrows for joy. I have so much to be thankful for.
This New Year's Eve I don't have any thoughts of what this year might hold. I don't know what trials or joys may come my way. But I do know where I have come from. I know that God has delivered me out of some very dark pits and set my feet on the rock of His love. I know that He will never forsake me or leave me. That His heart for me is consumed with an everlasting love with no end. And because of that, I can rejoice in the upcoming year. It is in the hands of a might God who loves me eternally.
No matter what our new year might bring our way, I pray that you find your heart and life filled with unexpected blessings. That you will know God's love in a new and deeper way. God Bless You!!!!
Tuesday, December 16
A Sister in Need
This Christmas I have been thinking about the Christmas story in a new way. I was asked to speak at our church's Women's Ministry Christmas party last week. As I prepared to speak I kept reading through the Christmas story wondering if there was an angle in it for women. And not just the "tried and true" faithful Mary story. God began to show me something that really blessed me. I didn't end up speaking on it at the party, but want to share it with all of you who read my blog.
Believe it or not there is women's ministry in the story of Christmas. It is found in the relationship between Mary and Elisabeth. The young girl, Mary, was in a terrible crisis in her life. She was bearly a teenager and finds herself the fulfillment of the greatest prophecies of all time. She is going to bear a child out of wedlock. What to think about that! She is thrilled, but as she tells her parents and betrothed she finds herself in a battle that overwhelms her. Imagine what her parents thought? They must have been so humiliated, hurt and angry with her. I doubt they believed her story, would you? Then there is Joseph. The young, trusting fiance who has devoted his life and future to her. We all know that he was thrown for a loop! He must have said some pretty hurtful things in his own pain and confusion. So all of that leaves us with one very hurt young girl who, most likely, hadn't had to face a trial this fierce in her whole life. She is, after all, just a teenager.
Who does Mary turn to in her time of need? Her parents whom she has always been able to trust and run to with her problems? Her future husband who is suppose to love and cherish her til "death do us part"? These people have all disappointed and hurt her. Who can she possibly turn to?
This is where the story leads us to Elisabeth. A woman who has lived life. She has faced the shame of being childless. She has had to live with all the whispers of the neighbors. She has had to ignore the looks of mothers as they pass her in the street and wonder what sin Elisabeth could possibly have committed to deserve the curse of barrenness. She has had to live with the ache in her heart of unfulfilled dreams. She has had to learn how to fill her life with God and not the things of this world. She also has something in common with Mary. She too, has the promise from an angel that she will bear a special son of prophecy. She too, has had to stand in faith on God's word when all seemed impossible. She is on the other side of the trial, realizing the blessing of God's faithfulness. She is the perfect person for Mary to run to to find comfort and strength.
So Mary packs her bags and heads out on the long journey to visit Elisabeth. She is weary, tired, and in the greatest trial of her life. She arrives at Elisabeth's door and is greeted with encouragement, affirmation, and the very heart of God for her. Yes the child she bears is indeed the Messiah, the coming savior. Elisabeth's greeting so encouraged Mary that she breaks out in praises to God. In fact this is one of the only times you will see a song of praise written out in the Gospels (Zachariah says one at the birth of John as well). We don't know all of what Elisabeth said to Mary in that moment. The Gospels are very brief in her comments. But we do know that Mary begins to praise God for who he is and what he is doing through her life and her trial.
Mary spent three months living with Elisabeth. Three months being encouraged, strengthened and prayed for. Three months of listening to the wisdom of Elisabeth. Three months of being told she is indeed carrying the Messiah. What an amazing gift Elisabeth gave to Mary.
So the question I have for you is: Are you a Mary or an Elisabeth right now? Are you in a trial you feel you can't bear on your own? Are you someone who has encouragement and strength to offer other women in need? We all need each other so much. As women we especially need the strength that comes from other women. We can be such a blessing to each other if we are willing to risk a little and give from our hearts.
And so this Christmas I challenge you to see who you can reach out to. Or who you can trust with your burden. We need each other and we need to be reminded of just how awesome our God is.
If you are feeling discouraged and overwhelmed know that Jesus wasn't just a baby born in a manger, he came to be your healer, the lifter of your burdens, and the one you can trust your heart to. Even if you don't have an Elisabeth in your life right now, you have the love of Almighty God reaching out to you in the gift of his son. And he does love you, with an everlasting love.
Let me know if you need any prayer! Leave an anonymous comment or share your heart with others in a comment
And Merry Christmas!
Believe it or not there is women's ministry in the story of Christmas. It is found in the relationship between Mary and Elisabeth. The young girl, Mary, was in a terrible crisis in her life. She was bearly a teenager and finds herself the fulfillment of the greatest prophecies of all time. She is going to bear a child out of wedlock. What to think about that! She is thrilled, but as she tells her parents and betrothed she finds herself in a battle that overwhelms her. Imagine what her parents thought? They must have been so humiliated, hurt and angry with her. I doubt they believed her story, would you? Then there is Joseph. The young, trusting fiance who has devoted his life and future to her. We all know that he was thrown for a loop! He must have said some pretty hurtful things in his own pain and confusion. So all of that leaves us with one very hurt young girl who, most likely, hadn't had to face a trial this fierce in her whole life. She is, after all, just a teenager.
Who does Mary turn to in her time of need? Her parents whom she has always been able to trust and run to with her problems? Her future husband who is suppose to love and cherish her til "death do us part"? These people have all disappointed and hurt her. Who can she possibly turn to?
This is where the story leads us to Elisabeth. A woman who has lived life. She has faced the shame of being childless. She has had to live with all the whispers of the neighbors. She has had to ignore the looks of mothers as they pass her in the street and wonder what sin Elisabeth could possibly have committed to deserve the curse of barrenness. She has had to live with the ache in her heart of unfulfilled dreams. She has had to learn how to fill her life with God and not the things of this world. She also has something in common with Mary. She too, has the promise from an angel that she will bear a special son of prophecy. She too, has had to stand in faith on God's word when all seemed impossible. She is on the other side of the trial, realizing the blessing of God's faithfulness. She is the perfect person for Mary to run to to find comfort and strength.
So Mary packs her bags and heads out on the long journey to visit Elisabeth. She is weary, tired, and in the greatest trial of her life. She arrives at Elisabeth's door and is greeted with encouragement, affirmation, and the very heart of God for her. Yes the child she bears is indeed the Messiah, the coming savior. Elisabeth's greeting so encouraged Mary that she breaks out in praises to God. In fact this is one of the only times you will see a song of praise written out in the Gospels (Zachariah says one at the birth of John as well). We don't know all of what Elisabeth said to Mary in that moment. The Gospels are very brief in her comments. But we do know that Mary begins to praise God for who he is and what he is doing through her life and her trial.
Mary spent three months living with Elisabeth. Three months being encouraged, strengthened and prayed for. Three months of listening to the wisdom of Elisabeth. Three months of being told she is indeed carrying the Messiah. What an amazing gift Elisabeth gave to Mary.
So the question I have for you is: Are you a Mary or an Elisabeth right now? Are you in a trial you feel you can't bear on your own? Are you someone who has encouragement and strength to offer other women in need? We all need each other so much. As women we especially need the strength that comes from other women. We can be such a blessing to each other if we are willing to risk a little and give from our hearts.
And so this Christmas I challenge you to see who you can reach out to. Or who you can trust with your burden. We need each other and we need to be reminded of just how awesome our God is.
If you are feeling discouraged and overwhelmed know that Jesus wasn't just a baby born in a manger, he came to be your healer, the lifter of your burdens, and the one you can trust your heart to. Even if you don't have an Elisabeth in your life right now, you have the love of Almighty God reaching out to you in the gift of his son. And he does love you, with an everlasting love.
Let me know if you need any prayer! Leave an anonymous comment or share your heart with others in a comment
And Merry Christmas!
Sunday, November 2
The Still Small Voice
Tonight as I put the girls to bed I had a wonderful conversation with them about the presence of God. I just wanted to share with you the truth that struck me as so simple, and yet so profound.
Lately I have been trying to get my girls to understand that when we pray, it is like talking to Jesus. I want them to understand that we don't just pray with them as a nice bedtime routine. I have been trying to explain to Alanna what it is like to feel the presence of God in your heart. How do you describe to a 7 year old what the peace of God feels like? Or how the Holy Spirit can move on your heart? These abstract concepts are so vital for our walk with God that I tremble at the thought of somehow not teaching my children how to experience God for themselves.
As I was trying to explain to the girls the stillness that God brings to your heart when you pray, a story came to mind. The story of Elijah and the presence of God. Elijah was hiding from Jezebel when God shows up. First, there was a mighty wind that tore at the mountain, but God wasn't in the raging wind. Then there was an earthquake that shook the very ground Elijah stood on, but God wasn't in the earthquake. Next there was a fire that could consume in a minute with it's mighty heat, but God wasn't in the fire. God is almighty, all consuming, he can do anything, be anything, but he chose not reveal his presence in these powerful forces. Finally, Elijah heard a still small voice. It was when he heard the gentle voice, that Elijah stepped out from where he was hiding and spoke directly with God. He found God in the stillness, in a quiet place.
As I related this story to the girls I asked myself "why would God choose a still small voice?" He could choose to reveal himself in anything, why in a whisper? In my heart of hearts I knew why, but I had never tried to simplify it for a child to understand. So I explained it the only way I knew how.
I was telling the girls that God's voice is like a gentle whisper that calls to you. I was talking in a hushed voice for affect. I explained that God could shout if he wanted to. He could make it really easy for anyone to hear him by yelling out to us, but he chooses to whisper to our hearts. I related God's still small voice to our "secrets" game. You see, as a family, we have great fun telling each other "secrets". We will cup our hand over our mouth and tell one of the girls that we have a secret for them. Their eyes light up and they come running over to hear what the secret will be. Most of the time we just whisper "I love you". But sometime we will have a sweet message to share with them.
As I related our whisper game to God I asked them a few questions. I asked if they loved me. They said yes. I asked if they liked it when I whispered a special message just for them to hear. Again their answer was yes. Then I asked if they would hear my secret if they were busy with other things and running around playing. They said no. I asked if they liked it when I shouted or yelled at them, again the answer was no. It was at this point I explained to them that it is the same with God. He will gently tug on our hearts with a still small voice. He will call our name and see if we will stop long enough to hear his voice. And if we love him, we will want to stop everything to hear what he has to say to us, just like they do when we play our secrets game. I explained that often Jesus is just calling us to stop and listen so he can tell us just how much he loves us. It may be through a scripture, or a song, or just a gentle knowing that his love is everlasting and that it is toward us. I explained that His presence is that quiet stillness we feel when we stop and pray. It is the calm that fills our heart and soul when we lean real close to hear the quiet whisper from the heart of God.
As I type this I, myself, am convicted by how busy I get in my own life and miss that gentle calling. I am going to make an effort to stop this week and hear what Jesus is trying to whisper to me. He may just be saying he loves me, or he may have something profound to show my heart. Whatever it is, if it is from God, I don't want to miss it!
I hope you find yourself stopping to lean in and hear what the very heart of God is saying to you this week!
Lately I have been trying to get my girls to understand that when we pray, it is like talking to Jesus. I want them to understand that we don't just pray with them as a nice bedtime routine. I have been trying to explain to Alanna what it is like to feel the presence of God in your heart. How do you describe to a 7 year old what the peace of God feels like? Or how the Holy Spirit can move on your heart? These abstract concepts are so vital for our walk with God that I tremble at the thought of somehow not teaching my children how to experience God for themselves.
As I was trying to explain to the girls the stillness that God brings to your heart when you pray, a story came to mind. The story of Elijah and the presence of God. Elijah was hiding from Jezebel when God shows up. First, there was a mighty wind that tore at the mountain, but God wasn't in the raging wind. Then there was an earthquake that shook the very ground Elijah stood on, but God wasn't in the earthquake. Next there was a fire that could consume in a minute with it's mighty heat, but God wasn't in the fire. God is almighty, all consuming, he can do anything, be anything, but he chose not reveal his presence in these powerful forces. Finally, Elijah heard a still small voice. It was when he heard the gentle voice, that Elijah stepped out from where he was hiding and spoke directly with God. He found God in the stillness, in a quiet place.
As I related this story to the girls I asked myself "why would God choose a still small voice?" He could choose to reveal himself in anything, why in a whisper? In my heart of hearts I knew why, but I had never tried to simplify it for a child to understand. So I explained it the only way I knew how.
I was telling the girls that God's voice is like a gentle whisper that calls to you. I was talking in a hushed voice for affect. I explained that God could shout if he wanted to. He could make it really easy for anyone to hear him by yelling out to us, but he chooses to whisper to our hearts. I related God's still small voice to our "secrets" game. You see, as a family, we have great fun telling each other "secrets". We will cup our hand over our mouth and tell one of the girls that we have a secret for them. Their eyes light up and they come running over to hear what the secret will be. Most of the time we just whisper "I love you". But sometime we will have a sweet message to share with them.
As I related our whisper game to God I asked them a few questions. I asked if they loved me. They said yes. I asked if they liked it when I whispered a special message just for them to hear. Again their answer was yes. Then I asked if they would hear my secret if they were busy with other things and running around playing. They said no. I asked if they liked it when I shouted or yelled at them, again the answer was no. It was at this point I explained to them that it is the same with God. He will gently tug on our hearts with a still small voice. He will call our name and see if we will stop long enough to hear his voice. And if we love him, we will want to stop everything to hear what he has to say to us, just like they do when we play our secrets game. I explained that often Jesus is just calling us to stop and listen so he can tell us just how much he loves us. It may be through a scripture, or a song, or just a gentle knowing that his love is everlasting and that it is toward us. I explained that His presence is that quiet stillness we feel when we stop and pray. It is the calm that fills our heart and soul when we lean real close to hear the quiet whisper from the heart of God.
As I type this I, myself, am convicted by how busy I get in my own life and miss that gentle calling. I am going to make an effort to stop this week and hear what Jesus is trying to whisper to me. He may just be saying he loves me, or he may have something profound to show my heart. Whatever it is, if it is from God, I don't want to miss it!
I hope you find yourself stopping to lean in and hear what the very heart of God is saying to you this week!
Tuesday, September 16
Are We Desperate Enough for Him?
Well here is my second blog entry on my bible study "Being made whole". Usually when I write a blog post I am all excited and have some passion about what I am writing. Today I am more walking in faith. Which is really quite ironic... well you will see as you read why stepping out in faith is fitting for this blog entry!
I recently told a friend who just started reading my blog about what this entry was going to be about. I told her it was the one story of the 9 I am studying that I dreaded the most. It is the story of the Gentile woman who begs Jesus to heal her daughter and Jesus calls her a dog! Yikes... where do you go with that one? But really it is quite a fitting story for each and every one of us. So I hope you can relate to the story where Jesus calls a woman a dog! (Mt 15:21-31)
The story starts on the coasts of Tyre and Sidon just north of Israel. The woman who seeks Jesus out was a Canaanite woman, a gentile and a pagan. Her daughter is possessed and she is desperate for her to be healed. She has heard of Jesus and his healings. She hears that he has traveled to the boarders of her country and so she immediately sets off to find the only person who can help her, the messiah
The woman has traveled to find Jesus and as she sees him in the distance she begins to cry in a loud voice "Have mercy on me, O Lord, Son of David! My daughter is possessed by a demon!" She recognized that she needed God's mercy in her life, she was desperate for it. She also knew Jesus was the messiah. Son of David is a title used for the messiah. But she made the claim for him to be her Lord as well. Her master. Here she is crying out with all her heart, in desperation for God's mercy, and what does Jesus do? Ignore her.
Have you ever felt like that? Like you have poured out your heart to God and yet he seems so far away? I sure have. And not just once or twice, but over and over again. Again and again in my life I have related to the prophet Jeremiah when he says "Even when I cry and shout for help, He shuts out my prayer." or "You have covered Yourself with a cloud so that no prayer can pass through" (Lam 3:8,44). It is a terrifying feeling to cry out to God in desperation and not feel his presence or hear an answer.
And how do the disciples respond to her cries for help? Do they tell Jesus "Help this poor distraught mother, she is begging you to help her" ? NO! They tell Jesus to get rid of her. She is driving them crazy with all her shouting. Sometimes the body of Christ can be like this. It can really hurt when people don't understand why we are crying out to God so desperately.
I can remember two times in my life when people came to me and asked me why I was crying out to God like I was. The first time was when I was in high school. I had a pretty rough home life and it seemed every altar call was for me. I was so hungry for Jesus and in such desperate need of his mercy in my life. I remember a friend telling me that he and his mother were wondering why in the world I kept going up to all the altar calls. It was like a slap in my face. You can imagine I held back going to the altar for the rest of the time I attended that church. Another time I was in a season of deep healing with God. He was teaching me to forgive those who had abused me over the years. I spent more days than not with tears in my eyes. I had a respected leader in my life ask me why I was always crying. Again it was slap in my face! God was doing so much in my heart I couldn't help but cry all the time! To this day I have a hard time going up to for an altar call or asking for prayer because of these incidents. I pray I never discourage someone desperate for Jesus to cry out to Him!
So I ask, could this story get worse? Here she is crying out to Jesus, He is ignoring her and the disciples are trying to get rid of her. What more could go wrong to discourage her? The woman sees that she isn't getting any results from crying out, so she decides to draw near to him. Jesus' silence has provoked her to seek him. To draw closer to Him.
The gentile woman finally reaches Jesus and she kneels down at his feet, worships him and pleads with Jesus "Lord help me". You would think Jesus would gently put a hand on her head, tell her to rise up, her daughter is healed. Isn't that the Jesus we know? The ever patient and loving God who never turns a hurt soul away? But what does he say to her? "it is not right to take the children's bread and throw it to the dogs" (15:26). OK, I don't know about you, but if I was that lady, I would have turn around and run home with tears streaming down my face! Jesus just called her a dog! That was a derogatory term used to describe a gentile pagans in those days. Perhaps you could think of a few derogatory names people use to describe others that aren't like them. It was not a compliment in the least.
But what does the woman do? She acknowledges that she is a dog. She knows she is nothing in and of herself. She knows that she is not worthy of Jesus. She knows that she is relying solely on his mercy. She believes that even just a "crumb" from God will solve her problems (15:27)
Are we in a place where we know we are nothing? I seem to go through phases in my walk. It seems that there are layers of knowing my own worthless heart is hopeless w/o His mercy. I suppose if I saw all the areas of my heart at once I would be undone. The question isn't whether our heart is unworthy, the question is what we do when we realize we are unworthy. Do we prostrate ourselves before Jesus in worship and tell him that all we ask for is his mercy as this woman did? Or do we turn and run and feel sorry for ourselves?
Jesus was not trying to be mean to this woman. He was just doing what God does best, drawing her to an intimate place of worship with Him. Sometimes God has to seem silent or uncaring to us so that we will press in to seek him more. Sometimes he makes it seem like our prayers are hitting the ceiling and bouncing back to us, so that we will run to him and cry out all the more.
Finally Jesus turns to the woman and tells her that incredible faith in him and he makes her daughter whole. He wasn't ignoring her, he wasn't putting her down, he was reaching into her heart to find her faith. And he was not disappointed.
Earlier I said that I could relate to Jeremiah in Lam 3. I could understand his despair. But in the middle of that chapter there is an amazing picture of hope and grace. Lam 3:18-26 says:
My strength and my hope is perished from the LORD:
Remembering mine affliction and my misery, the wormwood and the gall.
My soul hath them still in remembrance, and is humbled in me.
This I recall to my mind, therefore have I hope.
It is of the LORD'S mercies that we are not consumed, because his compassions fail not.
They are new every morning: great is thy faithfulness.
The LORD is my portion, saith my soul; therefore will I hope in him.
The LORD is good unto them that wait for him, to the soul that seeketh him.
It is good that a man should both hope and quietly wait for the salvation of the LORD.
I know I refer to that scripture a lot, but God has written it so deep with in my heart that I can't ever seem to get away from it. When everything seems dark and despair crushes in. When God seems so far away I wonder if I will ever feel or hear from Him again. When the night feels like it will never give way to the morning. Or when my tears feel like they will never return to joy. Well, that is when I remind myself, His mercies are new every morning. Great is his faithfulness.
If you feel like the gentile woman today. If you feel like God isn't listening, or that everyone is looking at you wondering why in the world you are crying out to God. If you have found that your heart is more wretched than you dreamed it could be and you feel like you should give up. Take hope. He is silent so you will seek him. He allows the trial to draw you in to a deeper place in him. He has a revelation for you in this time. He desires to make you whole.
May you be blessed with a touch of mercy today.
I recently told a friend who just started reading my blog about what this entry was going to be about. I told her it was the one story of the 9 I am studying that I dreaded the most. It is the story of the Gentile woman who begs Jesus to heal her daughter and Jesus calls her a dog! Yikes... where do you go with that one? But really it is quite a fitting story for each and every one of us. So I hope you can relate to the story where Jesus calls a woman a dog! (Mt 15:21-31)
The story starts on the coasts of Tyre and Sidon just north of Israel. The woman who seeks Jesus out was a Canaanite woman, a gentile and a pagan. Her daughter is possessed and she is desperate for her to be healed. She has heard of Jesus and his healings. She hears that he has traveled to the boarders of her country and so she immediately sets off to find the only person who can help her, the messiah
The woman has traveled to find Jesus and as she sees him in the distance she begins to cry in a loud voice "Have mercy on me, O Lord, Son of David! My daughter is possessed by a demon!" She recognized that she needed God's mercy in her life, she was desperate for it. She also knew Jesus was the messiah. Son of David is a title used for the messiah. But she made the claim for him to be her Lord as well. Her master. Here she is crying out with all her heart, in desperation for God's mercy, and what does Jesus do? Ignore her.
Have you ever felt like that? Like you have poured out your heart to God and yet he seems so far away? I sure have. And not just once or twice, but over and over again. Again and again in my life I have related to the prophet Jeremiah when he says "Even when I cry and shout for help, He shuts out my prayer." or "You have covered Yourself with a cloud so that no prayer can pass through" (Lam 3:8,44). It is a terrifying feeling to cry out to God in desperation and not feel his presence or hear an answer.
And how do the disciples respond to her cries for help? Do they tell Jesus "Help this poor distraught mother, she is begging you to help her" ? NO! They tell Jesus to get rid of her. She is driving them crazy with all her shouting. Sometimes the body of Christ can be like this. It can really hurt when people don't understand why we are crying out to God so desperately.
I can remember two times in my life when people came to me and asked me why I was crying out to God like I was. The first time was when I was in high school. I had a pretty rough home life and it seemed every altar call was for me. I was so hungry for Jesus and in such desperate need of his mercy in my life. I remember a friend telling me that he and his mother were wondering why in the world I kept going up to all the altar calls. It was like a slap in my face. You can imagine I held back going to the altar for the rest of the time I attended that church. Another time I was in a season of deep healing with God. He was teaching me to forgive those who had abused me over the years. I spent more days than not with tears in my eyes. I had a respected leader in my life ask me why I was always crying. Again it was slap in my face! God was doing so much in my heart I couldn't help but cry all the time! To this day I have a hard time going up to for an altar call or asking for prayer because of these incidents. I pray I never discourage someone desperate for Jesus to cry out to Him!
So I ask, could this story get worse? Here she is crying out to Jesus, He is ignoring her and the disciples are trying to get rid of her. What more could go wrong to discourage her? The woman sees that she isn't getting any results from crying out, so she decides to draw near to him. Jesus' silence has provoked her to seek him. To draw closer to Him.
The gentile woman finally reaches Jesus and she kneels down at his feet, worships him and pleads with Jesus "Lord help me". You would think Jesus would gently put a hand on her head, tell her to rise up, her daughter is healed. Isn't that the Jesus we know? The ever patient and loving God who never turns a hurt soul away? But what does he say to her? "it is not right to take the children's bread and throw it to the dogs" (15:26). OK, I don't know about you, but if I was that lady, I would have turn around and run home with tears streaming down my face! Jesus just called her a dog! That was a derogatory term used to describe a gentile pagans in those days. Perhaps you could think of a few derogatory names people use to describe others that aren't like them. It was not a compliment in the least.
But what does the woman do? She acknowledges that she is a dog. She knows she is nothing in and of herself. She knows that she is not worthy of Jesus. She knows that she is relying solely on his mercy. She believes that even just a "crumb" from God will solve her problems (15:27)
Are we in a place where we know we are nothing? I seem to go through phases in my walk. It seems that there are layers of knowing my own worthless heart is hopeless w/o His mercy. I suppose if I saw all the areas of my heart at once I would be undone. The question isn't whether our heart is unworthy, the question is what we do when we realize we are unworthy. Do we prostrate ourselves before Jesus in worship and tell him that all we ask for is his mercy as this woman did? Or do we turn and run and feel sorry for ourselves?
Jesus was not trying to be mean to this woman. He was just doing what God does best, drawing her to an intimate place of worship with Him. Sometimes God has to seem silent or uncaring to us so that we will press in to seek him more. Sometimes he makes it seem like our prayers are hitting the ceiling and bouncing back to us, so that we will run to him and cry out all the more.
Finally Jesus turns to the woman and tells her that incredible faith in him and he makes her daughter whole. He wasn't ignoring her, he wasn't putting her down, he was reaching into her heart to find her faith. And he was not disappointed.
Earlier I said that I could relate to Jeremiah in Lam 3. I could understand his despair. But in the middle of that chapter there is an amazing picture of hope and grace. Lam 3:18-26 says:
My strength and my hope is perished from the LORD:
Remembering mine affliction and my misery, the wormwood and the gall.
My soul hath them still in remembrance, and is humbled in me.
This I recall to my mind, therefore have I hope.
It is of the LORD'S mercies that we are not consumed, because his compassions fail not.
They are new every morning: great is thy faithfulness.
The LORD is my portion, saith my soul; therefore will I hope in him.
The LORD is good unto them that wait for him, to the soul that seeketh him.
It is good that a man should both hope and quietly wait for the salvation of the LORD.
I know I refer to that scripture a lot, but God has written it so deep with in my heart that I can't ever seem to get away from it. When everything seems dark and despair crushes in. When God seems so far away I wonder if I will ever feel or hear from Him again. When the night feels like it will never give way to the morning. Or when my tears feel like they will never return to joy. Well, that is when I remind myself, His mercies are new every morning. Great is his faithfulness.
If you feel like the gentile woman today. If you feel like God isn't listening, or that everyone is looking at you wondering why in the world you are crying out to God. If you have found that your heart is more wretched than you dreamed it could be and you feel like you should give up. Take hope. He is silent so you will seek him. He allows the trial to draw you in to a deeper place in him. He has a revelation for you in this time. He desires to make you whole.
May you be blessed with a touch of mercy today.
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