Happy Mother's Day

As I prepare to speak at a Mother's Day Luncheon on Saturday a lot of thoughts go through my mind. I have been looking at how I have been doing as a mom this year. I think about the ideal mother and what she should look like. And as I have been thinking about these things I have come to realize there is a huge discrepancy between the two.

I think most of us have this high ideal of what the perfect mom is like. I asked some friends on Facebook to describe the perfect mom in one word. Here are some words they came up with: patient, security, comfort, godly, compassionate, servant, wise, understanding, forever, involved and gentle. I am sure you can come up with some words of your own.

The perfect mother always has a clean home, well behaved children, and she never raises her voice. She always cooks delicious meals from scratch and then makes sure the kitchen is spotless when she is done. She bakes cookies after school, but makes sure there are two vegetables on everyone's plate at dinner (and her kids don't complain about eating them). She is never too tired to play with her kids or spend time with her husband. She volunteers at the church, the school and for field trips. Or better yet, she homeschools. She always reads her bible before starting her day and prays for everyone before bed. She is never selfish with her time and always gives the best of herself to others. I could go on and on. You get the picture.

When I start to think of this ideal mother on mother's day I get this nagging feeling of guilt. You probably know what I am talking about. This feeling deep inside that, as a mother, I have fallen very short!

Every mother carries a measure of hidden guilt. We see our selfishness, impatience, and anger and we feel guilty. We look around at the piles of laundry and dirty dishes and undone housework and feel guilty. We finally get around to doing the laundry, dishes and housework and we feel guilty we don't spend more time with our kids. We try to stick to a budget, but don't feel like cooking so McDonald's here we come! Then we feel guilty for the fast food we ate and the money we really couldn't afford to spend. By the end of the day we are exhausted and have no patience for drawn out bed times, last minute drinks or midnight wake up calls. Again the list could go on and on.

If we are honest with ourselves, at the end of most days if we measured ourselves on the scale of perfection, we fall far short of an ideal mother. Not a single one of us is alone in that struggle. We all fall short. Sometimes very short.

So how can we become an "ideal mother"? Is it possible? We strive to live better, do better, be better and realize that is not the answer. Beating ourselves up over our faults and failures is not the answer either. Harboring hidden guilt or shame is not the answer. So what is the answer? Quite simply Jesus!

When we talk about the perfect mom we think of someone filled with love, who considers raising her children a joy, someone whose home is full of peace and has never ending patience. She is kind and does good for others, She is faithful to her family and friends, she is always gentle and self controlled....Wait a minute. That looks an awful lot like Galatians 5:22! "The fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, and self control"

We may not possess the ability to be a perfect mom in our own strength, but the Holy Spirit is perfect and the fruit of the Holy Spirit in our lives is all of those things. We must allow the guilt we feel and the failings we see in our lives to draw us to the feet of Jesus. To a place of surrender.

Often we struggle and strive in our own strength to change who we are. I don't know about you, but I could strive all day long to be patient and all I will end up doing is hyperventilating from taking deep breaths and counting to ten over and over. I need something more than my own strength and will power to change. I need something greater than my weakness, stronger than my best effort, and more merciful than my conscience. I need Jesus and the power of his Holy Spirit.

Ephesians 3:16-20 says "That He (God) would grant you, according to the riches of His glory, to be strengthened with might by His Spirit in the inner man; That Christ may dwell in your hearts by faith; that you, being rooted and grounded in love, May be able to comprehend with all saints what is the breadth, and length, and depth, and height; And to know the love of Christ, which passes knowledge, that you might be filled with all the fulness of God. Now unto him that is able to do exceeding abundantly above all that we ask or think, according to the power that works in us."

It is HIS power that works in us and strengthens us. His Spirit that fills us with the very fullness of God. His power that does exceedingly, abundantly, above all we ask or even think. He CAN change our hearts and lives!

Look at the number of times this passage refers to our understanding of God's love for us. Often when we feel guilt or see our failures and faults we begin to believe that God is disappointed in us and doesn't love us. We allow this condemnation to push us away from God. When in reality God adores us, dances over us with joy, and counts us as righteous through Christ. He loves us so much he sent His own Spirit to dwell in our hearts and give us what we need to be set free and changed into the women of God he has called us to be.

When you begin to feel guilty for how far you fall short of perfection as a mother, just remember that it is the power of God, the strength of the Spirit and the love of Christ that is going to change you. You need Him and to surrender your weaknesses to Him. Sit at His feet, soak up His love, let him change you from glory to glory. He is able to do exceedingly, abundantly, above all we ask or imagine!

Happy Mother's Day!